How to Manage Doubting Thoughts.

Do you have doubting thoughts and conversations in your head??

 

Most of us do.

 

Usually its one side bringing up doubting thoughts about just about anything.
And then the other side replies, offering reassurance and calming advice.

 

Doubting is an old pattern. It’s had lots of practice. All of our lives.

 

Sometimes we listen a bit, just to check it out.
Then maybe a bit more, starting to believe the doubt

 

Does it work like this for you? In your mind? Do you have doubting thoughts? Of a light nature or a stronger nature?

 

Thoughts are useful for analysing, comparing, reasoning, planning, preparing, gaining information. And therefore for living your life.

 

EXCEPT, thoughts are not useful when they go round and round and don’t get to a conclusion. Or if they do get to a conclusion, it’s might be one based on fear.
And how do you know whether its based on fear or the right conclusion? (This is a doubt, you realise)

Fear runs the doubting thoughts.
Fear generates many thoughts.

The more thoughts like that, the more fear.
The more fear, the more doubting thoughts.

 

Research has shown that over 90% of our thoughts are on repeat.
How does that make you feel?
To know that the majority of your thoughts are old, worn out, and just repeating the same old story and doubts.

Number One tip: 

Learn to recognise the doubting thought, catch it, notice it, and then acknowledge the fear, wherever it is in your body.

Maybe there is a tightness somewhere. Or a heaviness.
Have compassion for yourself and let yourself feel the fear.
It won’t be as bad as you think it will be.

Then decide

Oops, no, I’m not going to believe that doubt.
Play with the words, flip them around, treat them lightly, just for fun.
Briefly.

Then just stop. 

Focus on what’s here.
Focus on what you are feeling or what you can see or what you can hear.

Come back to right now.
Come back to your body.

Then feel the relief to just stop.

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Do you have another tip you can share that will help others take control over these negative thoughts?

5 Comments

  1. David Stott on June 30, 2023 at 11:44 am

    My favourite quote on worry is :

    Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.
    — Renee Jain, author

  2. Gwen Sadler on June 30, 2023 at 5:57 pm

    Mine is: Don’t trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.

  3. Julie Mackie on July 1, 2023 at 9:22 am

    Before leaving for my medical appointment to remove sutures in Remuera, I checked the map for the best route. It all started well but I suddenly realised I wasn’t in the right area…PANIC set in so I pulled over and reminded myself that I DID know the way and kept repeating that I DO know the way. After 3 deep breaths, I set off knowing exactly how to get to the surgery and I was only about 500m away!
    Believe in YOURSELF

  4. Gillian on July 1, 2023 at 11:14 am

    I love this, Gwen! A great guideline to keep in mind.

  5. Gillian on July 1, 2023 at 11:21 am

    This is important ‘self-talk’ to keep in mind, especially when panic can so easily set in when unfamiliar contexts arise. Our emotional memory traces are very strongly encoded – being ‘lost’ or losing one’s way may unconsciously evoke an earliest childhood feeling of panic when, for example, one lost sight of a parent in a crowd.

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